The first time, a Thai massage in Kuala Lumpur
We all know it. A Thai massage in Asia. If you are here, you should try it out. In movies you often see it, a Thai woman walks over someone and such a large person is in no time in pain. After the massage, you should feel reborn by it. On Sunday we tried it out ourselves.
The reality
Last week I played tennis. I doubled on concrete for two hours, so don’t slide;). Afterward, I could hardly walk, I was completely demolished and my back didn’t like it anymore. Jeroen said it before, ‘why don’t you try a massage?’ Well, Jeroen, because I’m afraid that such a woman will massage me completely and after that, I feel worse than I felt before. That thought was quite in line with reality.
Singapore
We often stay home on Sundays. We hang by the pool, have lunch and get noodles. Jeroen always has to go to Singapore early the next morning, so a quiet Sunday is nice. Can you relax even more on Sunday if there is also a massage? Yes, you can, just leave out the massage.
Brothel
In our neighborhood, you will find about ten massage salons. The prices vary enormously and many salons don’t have a website. How do you make a choice? Choose the nearest one! Five minutes’ walk from our apartment is Oriental Spa & Wellness. (Don’t expect to enter the Zwaluwhoeve, the opposite actually) Here you get a one-hour Thai massage for RM48 (converted to €10,43) Not much money of course! Four stairs, dozens of cigarette butts on the floor and something in the corner that we didn’t take a picture of, later, we entered the salon. Or a brothel as you could call it.
Mattress
The madam collected our money and yelled some sentences at someone. Then Jeroen and I were led to two separate dark boxes and we had to sit on the mattress on the ground. So Jeroen was lying in another room, but if something should happen we could shout at each other. The walls weren’t that thick. Before I could shout anything, a Thai woman was lying on top of me and for an hour I was sweating constantly out of fear.
Elbows
Ooh, you’re hot. ‘Yes, I am’. I didn’t know what to do! A Thai massage means that your whole body will be taken in her hands or elbows. The woman or the girl, I have no idea put my leg in positions that I didn’t know were possible. A gymnast can learn from these tricks. With her full weight, okay 40 kilos, she pulled my neck apart, my arms flew in all directions and she even sat on my toes. That was the only moment that I had to laugh hard.
Garlic
In the meantime, the air conditioner was blowing and instead of sweating, I was shivering. At one point I thought I smelled garlic. It was more the smell of someone who ate a lot of garlic the previous evening. When the masseuse started talking I found out it was her breath. Luckily the tiger balm dominated. With that tiger balm, you have to watch out. She smeared it everywhere and after a while, I wondered why my eyes were burning so much. I had been rubbing in it and hadn’t thought about the fact that my fingers were under the balm.
Soothing
In the box next to me, it sounded like Jeroen was getting a few big taps on his buttocks. Afterward, he came out a bit dazed with a smiling masseuse behind him. Jeroen seemed to have slept well and was occasionally shaken awake with a slap. I, on the other hand, was wide awake and didn’t understand how this should be soothing. Now, the next day, I can’t get my legs in my neck anymore and I have to say that my back feels better. Maybe I should take a Thai massage more often after all.
The first time, a Thai massage in Kuala Lumpur
We all know it. A Thai massage in Asia. If you are here, you should try it out. In movies you often see it, a Thai woman walks over someone and such a large person is in no time in pain. After the massage, you should feel reborn by it. On Sunday we tried it out ourselves.
The reality
Last week I played tennis. I doubled on concrete for two hours, so don’t slide;). Afterward, I could hardly walk, I was completely demolished and my back didn’t like it anymore. Jeroen said it before, ‘why don’t you try a massage?’ Well, Jeroen, because I’m afraid that such a woman will massage me completely and after that, I feel worse than I felt before. That thought was quite in line with reality.
Singapore
We often stay home on Sundays. We hang by the pool, have lunch and get noodles. Jeroen always has to go to Singapore early the next morning, so a quiet Sunday is nice. Can you relax even more on Sunday if there is also a massage? Yes, you can, just leave out the massage.
Brothel
In our neighborhood, you will find about ten massage salons. The prices vary enormously and many salons don’t have a website. How do you make a choice? Choose the nearest one! Five minutes’ walk from our apartment is Oriental Spa & Wellness. (Don’t expect to enter the Zwaluwhoeve, the opposite actually) Here you get a one-hour Thai massage for RM48 (converted to €10,43) Not much money of course! Four stairs, dozens of cigarette butts on the floor and something in the corner that we didn’t take a picture of, later, we entered the salon. Or a brothel as you could call it.
Mattress
The madam collected our money and yelled some sentences at someone. Then Jeroen and I were led to two separate dark boxes and we had to sit on the mattress on the ground. So Jeroen was lying in another room, but if something should happen we could shout at each other. The walls weren’t that thick. Before I could shout anything, a Thai woman was lying on top of me and for an hour I was sweating constantly out of fear.
Elbows
Ooh, you’re hot. ‘Yes, I am’. I didn’t know what to do! A Thai massage means that your whole body will be taken in her hands or elbows. The woman or the girl, I have no idea put my leg in positions that I didn’t know were possible. A gymnast can learn from these tricks. With her full weight, okay 40 kilos, she pulled my neck apart, my arms flew in all directions and she even sat on my toes. That was the only moment that I had to laugh hard.
Garlic
In the meantime, the air conditioner was blowing and instead of sweating, I was shivering. At one point I thought I smelled garlic. It was more the smell of someone who ate a lot of garlic the previous evening. When the masseuse started talking I found out it was her breath. Luckily the tiger balm dominated. With that tiger balm, you have to watch out. She smeared it everywhere and after a while, I wondered why my eyes were burning so much. I had been rubbing in it and hadn’t thought about the fact that my fingers were under the balm.
Soothing
In the box next to me, it sounded like Jeroen was getting a few big taps on his buttocks. Afterward, he came out a bit dazed with a smiling masseuse behind him. Jeroen seemed to have slept well and was occasionally shaken awake with a slap. I, on the other hand, was wide awake and didn’t understand how this should be soothing. Now, the next day, I can’t get my legs in my neck anymore and I have to say that my back feels better. Maybe I should take a Thai massage more often after all.
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